Why Cindy Gallop, 65, Dates Men in Their 20s

Adapted from The Telegraph interview by Susanna Galton/

New York-based sex educator argues younger lovers are more open-minded, less threatened by confident women, and in need of honest conversations about consent and pleasure

Cindy Gallop, the 65-year-old founder of online sex education platform MakeLoveNotPorn, has said she unapologetically enjoys dating and sleeping with men in their 20s, arguing that modern pornography has left many young men “confused” about real-life sex and in need of guidance on intimacy, communication and consent.

In a candid interview, Gallop, who lives in New York and has never married or had children, said her preference for younger men began unexpectedly more than two decades ago, after she joined an online dating site for work while running an advertising agency.

“I never set out to sleep with much younger men… it just happened by accident,” she said, describing it as a “happy accident” that has continued into her mid-60s.

“If older men do it openly, why should I be embarrassed?”
Gallop pushed back against the stigma surrounding older women dating younger men, insisting the dynamic is judged far more harshly than older men dating younger women.

She cited public examples of older male celebrities dating much younger partners and questioned why society accepts that without outrage, while treating the reverse as taboo.

According to her, the discomfort is not accidental. She argued the stigma persists because the trend threatens older men who still dominate popular culture, media influence and funding.

Why Younger Men Seek Older Women
Gallop said younger men are often drawn to older women because of confidence and emotional stability, qualities she believes many women in their 20s are still developing.

She said younger partners frequently tell her that women their age can be deeply insecure, which can turn relationships and sex into constant reassurance-seeking. Older women, she argued, are more present, self-assured and less pressured by traditional expectations such as marriage or having children.
Gallop also described herself as “a fantasy” to many younger men: financially independent, confident, and clear about wanting fun without long-term demands.

“Porn Teaches Men Sex is Centred on Their Pleasure”
Beyond the thrill of the age gap, Gallop said her relationships had reinforced her belief that pornography is shaping unhealthy expectations about sex, especially among young men.

She argued porn often teaches men that sex revolves around male gratification, discouraging communication and emotional connection.

Gallop said she deliberately compliments younger men using words like “beautiful,” adding that men are rarely affirmed in ways that make them feel desired beyond performance. She recalled one partner telling her, “You make me feel so sexy,” describing it as a moment that revealed how little positive reinforcement many men receive.

Coaching Young Men “in Real Time”
Gallop claimed many young men she has slept with had never spoken openly about sex during sex, and some did not realise communication was even an option.
She said she had coached partners “in real time,” framing it as part of a broader cultural problem where shame and silence leave people awkward, misinformed and unable to express boundaries or preferences.

“The biggest problem isn’t porn alone,” she said, blaming a lack of open, healthy conversations about intimacy in homes and schools.

Her Solution: Real-World Sex Education
Gallop said her experiences dating younger men helped inspire MakeLoveNotPorn, launched 15 years ago to contrast pornography with “real-world” depictions of consensual intimacy.

She said the platform aims to show realistic sex, including how to talk through awkward moments, handle situations with humour and communicate clearly.
She also highlighted the launch of MakeLoveNotPorn Academy, which she described as a safe-for-work educational hub designed to give parents, teachers and young people language and tools to navigate sex and relationships without shame.

Warning over AI, Sexbots and Online Exploitation
Gallop warned that sexual harm now extends beyond porn, pointing to AI chatbots, “sexbots,” sextortion and intimate image abuse as escalating threats, particularly to children and teenagers.

She argued legislation alone cannot fix the problem, insisting education is the only effective response. She urged parents to start conversations early, saying ignorance does not protect children but exposes them to harm.

“Ageing Doesn’t Mean Sex Disappears”
Gallop also challenged cultural assumptions about women ageing and sexuality, saying female desire does not fade with age, and in her case, has intensified.
She said her experience of menopause was relatively smooth and insisted she has become “more excited about sex” as she has grown older.

“I hate the assumption that as women age, there’s a slow closing down of life, and of sex in particular,” she said, adding: “That’s simply not true.”