A Day with Dokpesi: Why He Married Tosin

Dupe Olaoye-Osinkolu/

“I was attending a meeting with Chief Tony Anenih in Abuja when I received the message of my mother’s death. I became so sad and restless that I had to tell Chief Anenih that I had just lost my mother. He said: ‘Sit down, boy! Is that why you’re shaking like a leaf?

“I sat down. Then I got up again and told him I wanted to use the toilet. He looked at me so hard and said, ‘Okay, you’re excused.'” That was how High Chief Raymond Dokpesi, began to tell me and another journalist, Abiola Beckley, a story about his state of finances when he lost his mother and why he decided to marry his staff, Tosin Odukoya, as his fourth wife.

How did we get into such a conversation with him? It was through a chance meeting.
The Presidential Hotel, Port Harcourt, was a beehive of activities on May 2nd, 2006 when union members and leaders were checking out after the previous day’s international Worker’s Day celebrations, held in Port Harcourt by the Nigeria Labour Congress.

I came out of the hotel with my colleague, Abiola Beckley. Carrying our luggage, we were moving towards the gates to get a ride to the airport.

Abiola suddenly nudged me on my left arm as she said, “See my chairman!” Following her pointed finger with my gaze, I saw High Chief Raymond Dokpesi, the Chairman of DAAR Communications, owner of Africa Independent Television (AIT), and Raypower. He was alone, carrying a bag and a briefcase.

We moved towards him, greeted him, and took the bags from him. We followed him to the reception where he registered and paid for his lodging.

We followed him to his suite, placed the bags in the sitting room, and excused ourselves.

“Ladies, where are you going? Do you want to leave me here alone? I am here to see the governor, and I won’t see him in the next four hours. You can’t leave me alone!”

“We were on our way to the airport when we met you…” Abiola told him.

“Which airport? Forget about the airport. Stay here and talk to me. I don’t want to be lonely.”

“But our flight sir…we’ll miss our flight!” I chipped in. “Chinese, (referring to me) forget about the flight, I’ll buy you another ticket. Sit down, I won’t bite you. ” Then Abiola told him we needed to buy the new tickets from the airline stand at the reception to secure our seats on the first flight the next day.
Chief Dokpesi gave us money for new tickets. When we got to the airline’s desk, there were people looking for tickets on the flight we earlier booked. The airline staff, after listening to us, said we were just on time, and that we could sell our tickets to those who needed them. So, that was done, and we booked our flights for the next day.

As soon as we returned to him, Chief Dokpesi gave us money to book our rooms, but I told him a room would be okay for Abiola and me so as to save cost.

After booking our accommodation, we returned to him as instructed. He had roughly four hours to kill before meeting the governor.

He was impressed by our choice of sharing a room even after he offered to pay for two rooms. He thanked us and started talking about his wife, Tosin. He said we were wife materials just like Tosin.

Back to his story on his mother’s death, he said that after he took permission from Chief Anenih to visit the loo, he went outside to call his wife, Moji. He then called his then-girlfriend, Tosin.

“I had no money when my mother died. Remember, AIT was shut down for a long time by the government? The effect of the closure was still on me when I lost my dear mother.
When I told my wife that Mama died, and I told her what I wanted her to do for me, she said ….

So, I called Tosin. She commiserated with me and asked me what exactly I wanted her to do. I told her there was no money, and I would need her to go to Agenebode and get the corpse packed and taken to the morgue. She said: “Don’t worry about money, I will do as you have instructed.”

He added that Tosin immediately traveled to Agenebode from Lagos, liaised with the family, and took care of his mother’s corpse. She then told him on the phone that everything was done as instructed.
He narrated details of what he went through before the burial. After the burial, Chief Dokpesi said he looked for who knew any member of Tosin’s family. A staff member took him to her aunt. He said when Tosin’s aunt saw him, she thought Tosin must have committed a grave offense at work that warranted a whole chairman of the organization to come looking for her relative.

She asked him, “Sir, what did Tosin do?” And he replied to her: “Tosin did the unexpected!” She said, “Haaa!” Chief Dokpesi then told the aunt to relax. He narrated how Tosin assisted him, raised money for him, and traveled all the way from Lagos to pack his mother’s corpse at Agenebode. She then begged the aunt to allow him to marry Tosin because “she is a wife material”. He thought Tosin might refuse to bring him to the family or reject his proposal for marriage if he had told her instead of finding his way to the family.

The aunt expressed fear of pushing Tosin into polygamy, but Chief Dokpesi allayed her fear. He married Tosin. God blessed their union.

Chief Dokpesi displayed his passion for humanity when he lost the Director General of DAAR Communications, Ladi Lawal. He was practically arranging for everything concerning the programme that was held in honor of the deceased by his family. He made it easier for staff members to attend the funeral events at Lawal’s family house before DAAR Communications organized a grand funeral.
He told me, when I rushed to the bus, he brought to the event, to assist him with some of the items he was offloading, that Ladi was more than a worker to him. He was like a blood brother.

I commiserate with the entire DAAR Communications family, wives, and the immediate and extended family of Chief Raymond Dokpesi. May his generous and pleasant soul find eternal bliss.

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